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[Video]
All so beautiful
stabbywheelfeet wrote in thewake_rp
One more announcement, newcomers.

If Nautilus gives you cake, don't touch it. It's either going to try to kill you, drive you insane, or someone calling themselves Sunstripper is going to pop out of it. If it gives you pie? Ignore that, too. That tries to poison you.

In short?

Don't eat the city's food.

[And yes, he is completely serious about everything he's saying.]
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Still not over the pie thing, huh? Look, I'm not gonna argue that it made you sick and I'm sorry about that, but it was because you ate too much. Not because it was poison. No one else got sick off that food.

Would you be?

No one else you know of.

I would be because I'd know that the reason I got sick was because I ate too much.

Nope, I'm pretty sure it was just you.

Seriously, it's a toss up every time. The Thanksgiving feast last year was safe, the Valentine's candy wasn't.

... Valetine's... candy.

Right. I forgot to mention that. Stuff.

[Yeah, she's been eating nothing but Nautilus-supplied food since she got here.]

Promise it's not dangerous?

If I were you, I'd take notice of when and how you get it. That seems to be kind of key in all this. Or at least that's what I've noticed over the last year and a half.

Like everything in the marketplace and from the restaurants around town? Should be totally safe. If you get something especially for you, like a box of candy appearing in your bedroom? Might wanna be careful with that. Though even the stuff that's had weird effects hasn't been poisoned. It just causes whacky behavior changes.

No need to warn me about "gift" food; I already get rid of everything this place "gifts" me.

At least the marketplace food's fine; I prefer to cook rather than Bend.

...

What is safe to eat? Found market.

If Nautilus made it, it's going to kill you.

[Spoilers: No it isn't.]

How should I know? Do I look like Nautilus to you?

No! No no no no no no no NO!

What sort of horrible, evil monster would make food bad for you?

...

[Okay. That's... a talking bear. Another. Talking. Bear.]

[ALL SPARK WHY.]


Nautilus. That's who.

But... but the city has been so cool so far! Free food, lots of places to sleep, the ability for bodacious new kung fu moves... why would the city do mean things?

Because the city is mean. It's cruel. It's no better than a pretty cage.

[White Knight gets the video on his cell phone, and he is not happy with this news]

So this place gathers everyone here and then tries to poison us?! What about the food that we... we "bend" up, is that poisoned too?

Uh.

Probably not? Everything Lelouch and Nash have made... that didn't try to kill me.

But I wouldn't know. I don't bend any human food.

[Oh dear... This was one of Sanji's 'hot buttons'. One just does not tamper with food in that way! (He's completely ignoring the 'Sunstripper' bit; that sounds a bit too weird for him. Unless it's a pretty lady, of course!) This was a cardinal sin to all cooks!]

WHAT?! What the hell?! Am I hearing you right? This shitty city actually goes and poisons it's residents? Through FOOD?! What the fuck is that shit?! How can you trust the damn city when you can't even trust the most basic of necessities? Food is to be cherished! It's life, it's comfort, it... and this city...

[Sanji trails off in rage, biting off another vicious curse, and glares at the video (though not directed at Sideswipe; he's just angry at the situation). If this really was true, and the city tampered with food like this... well, shit! Anything he didn't bend up himself - and he was still refusing to bend food himself and have it go to waste because he failed, as he was still learning - he'd have to taste-test himself first, before using it in any recipes. But what if even a taste seriously poisoned him? Made him go crazy? He'd prefer himself be affected, than anyone he gave his food to, but, still...]

SHIT! Does that include the food in the marketplace in the south?

... You do realize you're ranting about human fuel to someone who doesn't need to ingest any, right?

[He shrugs.]

Probably.

I don't fucking care if YOU don't eat 'human fuel', metalhead... I'm just fucking pissed that someone's tampering with food in the first place for everyone that does!

[And Sanji just continues to curse under his breath. He knew it wouldn't do any good to be paranoid about it, but just the fact that this happens at all has set him on edge.]

... What do you want me to do about it?

It's not like you can't just bend up your own, anyway. Or leech off someone who can, if you're that weak.

[He raises his hand.]

Hey teacher- I got this slice of plastic cake from the city a long while back and it's obviously inedible so does that count?

...

Are you serious?

[He holds up the piece of cake, tapping it with a finger.]

Quite.

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