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Newspaper - Saturday Edition
To Grandmother's house we go!
plus_tip wrote in thewake_rp
[Did you subscribe to The Tribune? Did you even remotely wish you had a newspaper or some other form of media to refer to for news, weather, and current events? Then you're in luck! There's a paperboy riding through the streets of Nautilus flinging newspapers onto doorsteps or, if you're unlucky, through your window. Even remote locations will still get a paper if one of the residents ever wanted one. The Paperboy is just that dedicated.]


[And if you're one of the following people, and you happen to subscribe to the newspaper, the Paperboy may or may not have flung the newspaper through that person's window and/or broke something in the area: Sanji, Jendayi, Manuela, The Riddler, Circe, Jetstorm, Rex Salazar.]



Your Weather Forecast
Eastern District
*Sunday, January 8 - Partly cloudy. High 44 F / Low 31 F
*Monday, January 9 - AM Clouds/PM Sun. High 41 F / Low 32 F
*Tuesday, January 10 - Sunny! High 48 F / Low 32 F
*Wednesday, January 11 - Mostly sunny. High 50 F / Low 47 F
*Thursday, January 12 - Snow. High 52 F / Low 29 F
*Friday, January 13 - Partly cloudy. High 38 F / Low 27 F
*Saturday, January 14 - Mostly sunny. High 37 F / Low 28 F

Western District
*Sunday, January 8 - Sunny! High 64 F / Low 47 F
*Monday, January 9 - Sunny! High 65 F / Low 47 F
*Tuesday, January 10 - Sunny! High 64 F / Low 47 F
*Wednesday, January 11 - Sunny! High 63 F / Low 47 F
*Thursday, January 12 - Sunny! High 63 F / Low 47 F
*Friday, January 13 - Partly cloudy. High 62 F / Low 47 F
*Saturday, January 14 - Scattered showers. High 63 F / Low 48 F

Southern District
*Sunday, January 8 - Showers. High 84 F / Low 79 F
*Monday, January 9 - Showers. High 84 F / Low 79 F
*Tuesday, January 10 - Showers. High 85 F / Low 79 F
*Wednesday, January 11 - Showers. High 85 F / Low 79 F
*Thursday, January 12 - Showers. High 85 F / Low 79 F
*Friday, January 13 - Flowers. High 85 F / Low 79 F
*Saturday, January 14 - Showers. High 84 F / Low 79 F

Northern District
*Sunday, January 8 - Partly cloudy. High 50 F / Low 46 F
*Monday, January 9 - Mostly cloudy. High 51 F / Low 45 F
*Tuesday, January 10 - Mostly cloudy. High 51 F / Low 45 F
*Wednesday, January 11 - Partly cloudy. High 49 F / Low 42 F
*Thursday, January 12 - Partly cloudy. High 48 F / Low 40 F
*Friday, January 13 - Partly cloudy. High 45 F / Low 40 F
*Saturday, January 14 - Light rain. High 49 F / Low 43 F

Sleepbituaries

Lavana
Ggio Vega
Akane Tendo
Ichigo Kurosaki
Helen Magnus

Flower Power
Earlier this week, Kergan announced the ascension of 'I wear my sunglasses at night' Agent Six to Angelii, and professional loafer Demyx to Ashura. The news was generally well-received by the public, who had nothing but congratulations to offer. Not even any gifts. What a rip off. Was Nautilus right to choose these two individuals for more power? Only time will tell.

Return of the Geezer
Ezio is back. And he's even OLDER! Bets are being placed as to when he'll start requiring large diapers to assist in his impending incontinence.

Riddler Ruins Boxing Day!
Peace on Nautilus and good will to men? More like pieces of men on earth if the Riddler has his way. Just after Christmas, the nerdiest of Batman's rogue gallery overcompensated for his lack of fashion sense amongst other things by planting bombs around the city and threatening to blow it up if no one could solve his puzzles.
As the city did not blow up, it is safe to assume that the people in the city are smarter than they look.

Zevran the Masseuse
An elf is offering free molestation to anyone interested! But no one is interested. NO ONE.

Dear Abby

Got a question you're too embarrassed to ask? Do you need some advice in dealing with drama? Are relationships too hard for your tiny brain to comprehend? Send in your questions today, and have them answered by our resident Abby!

(OOC: Wing is Abby. You can sign the question with the character's name, or as an anonymous entity. Let me know if you have any questions!)


(OOC: Would you like to submit a story, or be featured in this paper? Let me know! Here's a list of columns I'd like to see:
*Spotlight on Nautilus Citizens
*Tabloid garbage
*Movie Reviews
*Singles Page?????

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GDIT Paperboy. Next time she sees you coming. Oh Next time :I!

[...and Rex once again finds himself with a paper flung at his window. Except this time he didn't get the window open in time, so it went THROUGH the window.]

[Glass everywhere.]

[Also shredded newspaper.]

[Because General got a hold of it and angrily tore it to pieces. THAT WILL TEACH YOU TO INVADE HIS TURF YOU ROLLED UP PAPERY THING, YOU!]

[Rex, meanwhile, is sitting up in bed just...staring at the mess all over his floor and the rabbit in the middle of it, half a roll of tattered paper in General's mouth while he shakes it about and rips at it with his claws.]

[Six actually watches the newspaper whiz by him since he's perched on the roof meditating. At first he thinks that the Paperboy's aim is getting bad...until he realizes he wasn't the target.]

[He stands and walks over to the broken window, looking in with a raised eyebrow.]


You all right?

[Rex blinks once, then turns to see Six at the window. This is totally normal for their household, at least. Ninja!Dad outside the window.]

Yeah, I'm fine. Can't say the same for the window, though. You'd think these newspapers were rolled up around bowling balls!

[A glance back at General.]

Paper's not in good shape, either. I'm starting to think my rabbit is a better guard dog than our actual dog.

[Six frowns at this.]

I'm beginning to think Pato's temperament is too sweet to make a good guard dog. Though he does have his moments.

AHH!! Are we- WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!! [Flailflailgoes rolling off whatever he was on and thuds on the floor- don't mind him.]

[Rex was about to get out of bed to go deal with the rabbit, when suddenly there's a personality core hitting the floor and roll-flailing about. Getting out of the other side of the bed so as not to step on broken glass, he tries to get a hold of his roommate.]

Wheatley! Calm down! It was just a newspaper coming through the window.

-ow...was a lot higher up than I thought...

[And he blinks and stares at Rex before glancing at the window.] A newspaper?! What's the bloody thing made of, rocks?!

Sometimes I wonder if the papers don't come with rocks rolled up on the inside.

[Rex hefted the sphere up onto the foot of his bed before going about the business of bending away all the glass on the floor. Meanwhile, General hopped away to one corner of the room with what remained of the paper.]

I think it's less the paper and more the dude who delivers them, though. He's got an arm like a super baseball pitcher.

Oh thanks! [Once safely deposited on a surface that he won't so easily roll from, Wheatley looks down, watching as the glass vanishes. Ooooh.]

Sounds like quite a monster! Part, ah, robot, maybe? Could be it... I've seen what mechanized arms can do to walls...and...and other things.

[Action]

[It had never felt much like winter in the South, so Sanji was sitting by an open window in Budehuc, sipping on some tea while taking some time to relax. Of course, the Paperboy chose that time to pass by, flinging a rolled-up newspaper right through the window. It clocked Sanji directly on his forehead, his head snapping back with the impact. His chair rocked back with the momentum, eyes wide with shock, arms flying up and tea splashing everywhere. He stood almost immediately, tea cup falling to the floor as he held his arms out to the side, his shirt covered in liquid.]

OY! What the HELL?! Who threw that fucking thing?!

[He looked about for whatever had HIT him, finally noticing the newspaper on the floor. Moving to the window, Sanji leaned out of it, glaring darkly, but the Paperboy was already long gone.] Asshole! Watch where you're AIMING! [Damn it... this was his only favourite shirt!]

Edited at 2012-01-08 03:58 am (UTC)

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